Still waiting..

18. Day. 18 days without you. When I named this blog I had no idea about how you'll be leaving my life but maybe instinctively I guessed it. First like a nightmare your voice left me. And now I feel that you left me completely. There has never been a day when you didn't call me but this war changed everything. Can you imagine how much it could hurt me trying to live nothing has happened to you? As if you never existed. As if we weren't here together just a month ago. How does this life trick us that I've seen clearly. It feels like everything is going perfect and will end fine soon. Then bam! It turns upside down in the most aching way. This could be the least expected thing that could have happened to us maybe. Who would take such a possibility into consideration in her relationship anyway? Do you happen to see someone saying "If there is no war, we'll get married" ? Well I haven't either. But I see that it can happen. By my own eyes and heart I see that only God's plan matters. This test.. It's destructive. I tried and tried to keep my calm. Turning back to my workplace by bus ATM. The roads I took with you and enjoyed. I cried a lot when I reached at family house. Even the house seemed unhappy. But you aren't around me so that I can share with you how I cried myself to sleep silently thinking about you and me. It is so difficult Bader.  Have you ever remembered me? Please God. Help me. Even though I am being dumped I want to learn what's going on.. 😔